Dr. Azita Sayan says lasting relationships require self-awareness, not just chemistry

A new piece from Los Angeles therapist Dr. Azita Sayan argues that marriage struggles, loneliness and family conflict are rooted in survival patterns, emotional distance and poor communication. Her method centers on slowing down, telling the truth and rebuilding trust before people can create lasting intimacy.

Why it matters: - Young adults still want marriage, but many are entering relationships with weak social skills, high distress and unrealistic expectations about love. - Sayan argues that the problem is not only finding the right partner. It is learning how to stay connected, honest and accountable when relationships get hard. - The stakes are broader than romance. Relationship breakdowns, family estrangement, loneliness and untreated distress can shape mental health, belonging and long-term stability.

What happened: - Dr. Azita Sayan released a research-driven message on why people struggle to build lasting relationships and how people can move from survival patterns to healthier connection. - Pew Research Center found that 69% of never-married adults ages 18 to 34 want to marry someday. - The United States recorded more than 672,000 divorces in 2023 in the 45 states and Washington, D.C., that reported them. - The piece links the issue to isolation, family conflict, intimacy struggles and the search for belonging.

The details: - Young people lost ordinary social time during the COVID years, including time to practice disagreement, embarrassment recovery and close friendship skills. - In the CDC’s 2023 survey, 40% of high school students reported persistent sadness or hopelessness. - An Institute for Family Studies survey found that 28% of young men believed AI could potentially replace a real-life romantic relationship. - Sayan warns that fast-moving romance can blur judgment, especially when people confuse intensity with compatibility. - Sayan urges people to slow down sexually before commitment because physical bonding can make incompatibility harder to see. - Sayan says a partner’s response to “no” can reveal how that person handles autonomy and respect. - Sayan says attraction often feels strongest toward what is familiar, including patterns tied to early love that was hard to reach. - She links unresolved pain to cycles of blame, withdrawal, control and repeated conflict. - Pew data show most young adults still rate their relationship with a parent positively, even though some families are estranged or emotionally closed. - In 2024, an estimated 48.4 million Americans ages 12 and older had a substance use disorder, including 27.9 million with alcohol use disorder. - In 2023, 11.4% of adults reported taking prescription medication for depression. - Sayan says symptom relief matters, but medication alone does not rebuild trust, belonging or intimacy. - The Sayan Method™ Human Architecture for Extraordinary Living™ asks people to examine the survival strategies they bring into love and family life. - The method focuses on responsibility, forgiveness, communication, boundaries and bringing actions into line with commitments. - Workshop participants work on saying no, asking for forgiveness, expressing anger without letting it take over and listening when others tell the truth. - Sayan also brings men and women into direct conversation about respect, safety, affection and intimacy. - Sayan has taken this work to audiences of millions through radio and television and to clients ranging from children as young as nine to adults in their eighties. - Dr. Azita Sayan is a Los Angeles marriage and family therapist, author, speaker and longtime radio and television host. - Sayan founded Embrace Growth Inc. and created The Sayan Method™ Human Architecture for Extraordinary Living™. - Her work focuses on trauma, responsibility, authentic forgiveness, communication, relationships and human transformation. - Sayan is available for interviews on marriage and divorce, youth isolation, AI companionship, family disconnection, addiction and recovery, chemistry versus compatibility, and reclaiming love and belonging. - The company website is embracegrowth.com.

Between the lines: - The argument is as much cultural as personal: people may be surrounded by connection online while lacking the skills to build safe intimacy in real life. - Sayan frames healing as an active discipline, not a feeling, and shifts attention from blame to behavior. - The emphasis on family repair suggests that romantic problems often mirror earlier unresolved relationships rather than appearing out of nowhere. - The focus on AI companionship reflects a broader anxiety that convenience may be replacing the work of mutual understanding.

What's next: - Sayan plans to keep using workshops, media appearances and interviews to push her message on marriage, loneliness, family conflict and recovery. - Her approach points toward more direct work on honesty, boundaries and responsibility before people expect a relationship to last. - The central takeaway is that better relationships may require changing the person in the relationship, not just changing partners.